May 19, 2024

Financial Infidelity And Divorce In The Country

How common is cheating across the United States?

The answer might be higher than you would like to think.

“According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, national surveys indicate that 15 percent of married women and 25 percent of married men have had extramarital affairs. The incidence is about 20 percent higher when emotional and sexual relationships without intercourse are included.”

When a Partner Cheats, The New York Times

Why do people cheat? The simplest answer is one that most grown adults can probably deduce. However, the surprising reality is that infidelity does not simply boil down to lust or physical attraction. After all, monogamy or fidelity does not necessarily equal a lack of attraction to those other than your partner or spouse.

It is natural to feel attraction to someone who isn’t your partner or spouse. Mere admiration does not necessarily indicate a lack of devotion to the person you are committed to. Several factors may determine whether or not one feels attraction to someone else and acts upon those feelings. 

The drive to cheat is mostly emotional—disconnection, boredom, insecurity, to name a few negative emotions that can bottle up, only to be released through the act of the affair.

Infidelity is not impossible to recover from, especially with the guidance of an expert. In fact, as the straw that breaks the camel’s back, an affair can urge a couple to finally seek help in addressing unresolved issues that lie buried far below the surface. It can also be the breakdown that leads couples to seek divorce mediation to separate from each other’s lives for the better.

Read Elizabeth S.‘s review of McNamee Mediations on Yelp

The pressure to succeed financially and professionally is one that looms over many Americans today. For some people, an affair is a secret opportunity to be a different version of themselves, in ways that aren’t tied to their feelings of inadequacy. However, the excitement of living in an alternate reality is not logical.

Financial infidelity is a form of betrayal that is often committed as a coping mechanism for one’s feelings of financial inadequacy. It involves using money or making decisions about money in secrecy from one’s spouse. One might be drawn to engaging in risky and even criminal behavior as a desperate attempt to “make up” for professional shortcomings. 

In marriage, the financial behavior of one spouse directly impacts the other. The shock of any form of infidelity, including financial infidelity, can be a shock to the spouse who discovers it. In some cases, they may have thought that they had the perfect marriage, only for the truth to break their heart. In these cases, couples who are not ready for divorce may seek a divorce mediator to clear the air and try to save their marriage. If one of both spouse believe that the marriage is not salvageable, a family law mediator can be indispensable in facilitating productive and peaceful discussions about divorce settlement terms.

If you have experienced financial infidelity, give McNamee Mediations a call to explore your options.

McNamee Mediations
4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660